it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
