Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
