so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
