the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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