Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
