Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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