i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
