porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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