i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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