It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
