If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
