whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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