He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
