I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
