I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
