I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
