This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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