i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
