I've blown a few things in my day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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