I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
