its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize