Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
