I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
