My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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