Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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