it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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