it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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