He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
