Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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