I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
