Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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