if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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