You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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