WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
