I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
