East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
