Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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