Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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