please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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