It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
