try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
