He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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