Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
