A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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