their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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