Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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