So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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