"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize