I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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