so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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