I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
