Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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