Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
