just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
