would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
