Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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