AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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