Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize