I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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