I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
