yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
