Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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