How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
