What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
