walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize