You just made me feel so damn special
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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